> extraordinary humans ive got to learn about......

a couple of weeks ago i watched  Bill Cunningham New York,

a documentary about a photographer on streets of New York.

i cried and laughed watching it! a real story of a very unique human 
being, Bill Cunningham who lives his life how he wants regardless 
of what society thinks! an amazing person, passionate, immensely 

talented, exceedingly humble who can live very luxuriously but yet 
lives a very simple life! it is a must see that can inspires your best!

also today over my cup of espresso at the cafe i read the interview with  
Dr Hunter Doherty who the movie Patch Adam was based on. 
a medical doctor, social activist, author and clown who has worked for 
over 40 years as a humanitarian to change the medical system. he founded

the Gesundheit Institute in 1971 and each year he organizes a group of
volunteers from around the world to travel to various countries where
they dress as clowns in an effort to bring humor to orphans and patients.

he says in the article:
"I think market capitalism still owns the world and that we've lost the 
idea of nation........Money is god, and its worshiped wholeheartedly 
by the people who own the world, the transnational corporations.
Our ability to think has been so damaged and our idea of resistance 
has been so pushed down that i feel humanity is in peril.......... 

The global value system is hungry for money and power......when all 
we need is a system invested in compassion and generosity"

very powerful and heart opening article to read. [Common Gorund]
it opened my heart to think how each of us are able to do something 
in the world to make life better for others other than just for ourselves!

> drawing with light ...

No! i did not buy a Mamiya C330 yet!

although just by looking at this photo im soooo tempted to get one!

[this camera was introduced in the 1970s for the professional
and advanced amateur photographers]

i think more than anything else it can be a conversation
piece if i finally get one to just have it around my place.

however...... today i got my half an hour tutorial to work with Canon EOS 20D

from a very kind friend of mine when she lent me her own camera to use for a bit 

so i could get hands on experience working with a real professional camera.

im exited and grateful that i find a new toy to explore!

{note: the only thing im afraid is that having a real professional camera could add 

another hundred  projects-to-do to my artistic project list! in that case, my already 

very long list of things i want to explore is growing bigger by minutes! perhaps i 

need to cut my sleeping hours and add more time to my play time with my art toys! 

or better..... i need to cut hours i spend dreaming about making arts and add 

more time making arts!!!!!!!}

i just read:

The word photography is based on the Greek (photos) "light" and  (graphé) 

"representation by means of lines" or "drawing", together meaning "drawing with light".

does it really make sense!?

> i dream too much ...

> say it or type it.......

once upon a time i was obsessed with typography.
im glad im over it now. it can consume you to the maximum of your time!

{however from time to time i still find myself getting lost in shapes/fonts/words! 
just had some fun playing with a couple of words above}

> occupy your heart....

my inspiration for today: 
"If you practice an art, be proud of it and make it proud of you 

It may break your heart, but it will fill your heart before it breaks it; 

it will make you a person in your own right."   by Maxwell Anderson

"occupy your heart"
i loved this highlighted title on the cover of common ground magazine!
just the title by itself (not knowing what is the whole article about) made me pause and think! 


in fact I have been doing lots of thinking since thanksgiving!

now that im free.....
now that i can do anyhting i want to..... 
what is it that i want to do...
what is it that i can't live without...
how i can occupy my heart...
how i can make my heart sing...
what song do i choose to sing...
what path i step in to fullfill my heart!


so far......
i come to realize there are many songs that my simple 
heart naively wants to sing and be occupied with!

however for now .......
there are two on top of my dreams that my heart crave:
one is to travel and see more of the world in a raw backpacking 
sort of way and two is making art. 
yes.....
these would be the ways to occupy my heart as far as i know my heart!

i want to practice arts. make arts. and explore making arts more than ever.
i want to see more of the world too. see other lives and be touched by 
other souls around the world. i feel i've been stuck in one place for too long!

sound simple yet need lots of planning, discipline and focusing on my part to 
get where i want to get! i need a promise to myself to not postpone 
anything anymore! i need to start leaving my dreams!

{p.s. photos are more shots of holiday season post with my little flower
arrangements sitting here and there around my place since thanksgiving}

note......for sure playing with flowers is one of my art exploring practices that
i can't live without! simply working with flowers can occupy my heart 
 like no other ones could!

> oh no! holiday season is here....

If you ask me what is the hight light of the holiday season for you?
my response would be: first witnessing such outstanding change of
colors in nature. second, having seasonal flowers/seeded greens.
and third, having unlimited fresh cranberries in the market!
honestly these pretty much sum up the spirit of the holiday season for me!

i made these arrangements for me and friends the day before thanksgiving.
the smell of fresh eucalyptus leaves........the playfulness of seeded eucalyptus
flowers.... are my all time weaknesses! when i saw the seeded greens at the
market that day i had to get them. then i ended up buying more flowers to go
with greens! as usuall and more likely than not i find myself attracted to
greens and leaves (fillers) than actual flowers per se.

i made a couple more arrangements with ever greens and silver dust leaves
which i will photograph later!

so....after all......its officially holiday season in my house!

> white on white study....continues.....

Snap shots i took in my bedroom today while sun was picking through the shades
in the morning. my obsession with white could not help it! i had to grab my little
shoot and go camera to capture a couple of "white moments". it was impossible
to do zooming and create soft edges with the kind of camera i used. i wondered
how these photos woud have looked if i had a real camera to play with!

> happy thanksgiving.....

> the day after ........

its sunday. rain just stopped. everything outside looks so innocent, pure, and
peaceful....yet loud and beautiful. it was pouring water a couple of minutes ago!

there is a big hole on top of my convertible which caused by some people
who wanted to either break my heart or break into my car the other night.
(they did not break my heart but left a big cut on my car!)
the bucket i left on the front passenger sit perhaps is already
filled with rain water ( i think it rained through the entire night).

my tows and fingers are very cold.....
im anxious to wash off the red dye off my hair i just put half an hour ago....
im listening to "song for the earth" by Michael Jones on my pandora  radio.....

and.... in the mist of all these and lots more details of my every day things.......
i have such an amazing feeling that its hard to describe in words!
its like the feeling we have when we think every things are going to be alright!
i feel very lucky!
i feel very fortunate to be able to have a little bit of consciousnesses here
and there to get a grasp of what life is all about (not always but enough)
to keep me content.... within.....and happy......regardless!

and also....... im feeling very joyful looking at these flowers from
flower school. i wish i could have one such arrangement right now to put it
in the bucket of water in my car waiting to be emptied!

also.....these are the things from yesterday that im still enjoying thinking about.....
 } i made some phone calls to spread my joyous feelings towards my dear ones!
 } i smiled at a very handsome guy on my way to get  a soy late and he smiled back very sweetly.
 } i felt so much love towards my beautiful cousin who is doing amazingly her best to manage her life.
 }  in honor of eli's national day she and myself picked two lotteries each of us (super lotto plus and mega
     millions) believing that we would win something (however in my heart i was already a winner.)
 } i bought two (could not choose) amazing chemotherapeutic hand soaps (lemon verbena and basil
    scent) that im in love with and can smell the scent at this very moment from my hands.)
    (looking for excuses to wash my hands as often as i could since i got them last night!)

and..... of course there were many little unpleasant moments yesterday that i went
through but after all none really bothered me too much. it was my national day any way!

and......i really do hope i can carry this state of being with me through my every day
always no matter what im going through!

> november ninetheen two thousand eleven....

November 19 has played a big roll in my life history!
therefore...... im going to announced it eli's national day!
coincidentally many major things happen in nov 19 through years
for me that made me believe that our lives is calculated after all!
we just need to live it though and go further to be able to look
back and say: aha! now i got it! that was why.....

today i feel like this woman in Picasso's painting....
full. very full. calm. taken care of. content.....and....within myself!
i feel very happy in a new way. very grateful for life i have!
i feel i'm one of the luckiest human beings!
and i feel the rest of my life is going to be very
very ok....regardless of what where when!

its another november 19th with its big surprises for me.
im done. im clear. im free at last!
i feel on top of my world!
happy eli's day everyone!

> road to the truth..............

Buddha says:
"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; 
not going all the way, and not starting."

i needed to hear this today! tanx buddha for making such a clear
statement. the more i think about it the more i believe that is why
i have fallen away from my truth from time to time!
i have to confess that i do postpone starting, and i do miss going all the way
sometimes! those are times i feel lost, dishonest, and not open within myself!


i need to practice to start and stick with it, whatever it is, all the way
to the end before i can jump to another thought, idea, dream.....or anything 
i have desire for. i need to fallow through. that is the only way to truth!

> more reasons to love textile....

potos are from various interior concepts in vtwonen which is a wonderful Dutch
magazin. i am inspired with many ideas from their take on interiors and objects.
ideas coming form Netherland, Denmark and Sweden are super interesting and
fresh and creative. i dont mind to live in danmark for a while if i get a chance!

so today i created another winter wish/to-do-list on top of hundred other ideas
floating in my head: 
1) knit up some socks for my tables, chairs or stools
2) wrap up the handles of my "things" with fabrics/felt
3) make/knit matching tea cosy, cup holder and lamp's cover all from the same yarn
4) search to learn how to create that hanging huge chair
5) crochet/knit a swing for next summer using heavy mixed cotton/felt yarns

you see what happens to me!.....its has been my pattern always!
i get sooooo exited....sooooo full with ideas.....sooooo overwhelmed with things
to do that i panic when where how to start!.....and... next thing i know is another
hundred new ideas in my list when i have not even started exploring the old ones!!

do you see my dilemma!?

> i need to get out of my head.....

If im inspired by the sound of rain...
if im inspired by one stem...
if im inpired by shade of things...
if im inspired by acorns...
if im inspired by dead leaves...
if im inspired by real spider web...
if im inspired .......
and if im inspired by such simple things
million times each day and every day.....
then ....
why is it that im not fallowing through my inspirations
all the way to the end...

the answer....
i just found the answer here.

[foto by Heather Smith Jones Site]

> lost or found.........

I received the top photo from my dear cousin a week
ago wondering where i was and asking if i was lost, jokingly!
she wrote:
"eli where are you. no news from you. either you are collapsed
like the girl or perhaps still looking for yourself!
im not sure why this foto somehow reminding me of you...."

i loved the photo. i saw a lot of me in that photo!
the way the two me going in different directions but
still are hand in hand and inseparable!

today..... the graphic designer in me came up
with a great way to reuse that photo!  
hee hee hee
now i have an answer when i'm considered lost
or out of reach! perhaps, after all, i am not lost
but just wandering around!