all I see is a blue wall

an ocean of blue flowers

I say dear blue dear blue...

catch my every tear

save me from my doubts

swallow me up in blue

help me touch the clouds 

as I breath in what's true

the blue says...
the words will come on cue
if you let them be true

I got lost in a blue Monday
I got lost in the thought of ....
why did she have to go away?

come back blue sky 
put a smile on my face  

come back blue sky.

wish i could make a healing bouquet for you.....

photo from here

i wish you had not left us......

photo from here

you are every-where but no-where.....

photos from here

i accept that......

.......there’s a lot i don’t know.

when going through the pain of a loss......

they say.....
it’s like a lighting shakes the foundation of the ground.
now you question everything
your identity, who you are, why you are here, why you are alive.....

they say.....
we realize that we no longer have control over what happens to us. 
we realize that what we once thought we knew.... no longer we can know.
we realize all that we are not, and less about what we think we are or what we know.

they say.....
there is great freedom in such.....
it helps us to meet life’s adversity with courage.

they say.....
be good to yourself while you heal.

all i know......
i want to heal to meet life with courage again.

WE ARE......

when you lose.......

a gift to earth...

p.s.
a birth day card i put together to send to a very special person. a true gift to earth.
[photos are not mine i wish they were]

the wording i wrote to her for her birth day:

this year....

my soul got lost,
the time I entered the widest coast.

my heart was drowned,
the time I swam the deepest ground.

darkness surrounds me, unknowingly…

how can I fight,
If I don't see the light?
how can I go on,
If I feel that I'm all alone?
and how can I be me?
If I already loss myself, unknowingly…

but In the middle of this difficulty,
there are people like you
who stayed beside me
with eyes washed with tears
when no words were needed
to say all we wanted to say

I found you again, unknowingly…

I never thought that we will share all this
I never thought that we will be as this close
I never thought that our experience could change us this far

but i know
because of those like you I need to heal, unknowingly.....

and i know
I can thank universe
for my life blessings still
for you, her and all those who touched me

hope we can keep and make our connection even stronger
hope we can grow deeper into realm of reality
hope we can talk eyes to eyes even more so

after what you been through...
after what I've been  through....
after  what we all been through....
I still want to celebrate you and me and our lives...
till our hairs turn into gray…
unknowingly......we will still be the same in loving one another as who we are but nothing else.

happy birthday...........